is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
