out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
