it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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