Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a hot homeless man
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize