I hate your face
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
