yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
