I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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