I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize