Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
