How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
