I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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