Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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