love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
