Umm I'm too high to move.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
