The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize