don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
