I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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