thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
