Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So much rum. So many feels.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
