I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize