My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
