i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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