Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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