i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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