Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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