I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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