Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
