I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
