you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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