Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
that's an acceptable place to lick
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
