Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
