Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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