I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
