My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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