Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
