We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
