don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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