some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
