this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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