i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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