If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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