Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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