i can't believe i had my finger in that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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