I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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