That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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