My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
