After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
