i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
