I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
