I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
