whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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