i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
