Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
