whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
