No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
