Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize