Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
