if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
