He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
