Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
