the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
