Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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