tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
