she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
