Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
