Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
