tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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