I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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