sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
