either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
