why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
