I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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