Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize