Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
