come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
