So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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