pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize