fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
