so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize