Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
